19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
How would your kids rate your communication with them? Is it one way communication or two ways?
The verse here instructs us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. With kids especially we are quick to speak and not bothered much to listen.
Empathic listening to your child is the key component to good communication. It means we have to listen with our heart than our mind. Listen quickly and attentively.
Acknowledging the child's feelings with comforting words. Give the feeling a name. Give the child her wishes in Fantasy.
All communication involves,
1. Words - 10%
2. Tone of Voice - 30% and
3. Non-Verbal Cues - 60%
(facial expression & body language)
So it is not what you say. More important is how we say. This skill of communication is so vital for us to meet the core need of connection and accpetance of our kids.
Ask each child to rate between 1 to 10 how much they like your communication skills.
Take feed back from your kid how you can improve.