GOOD ENOUGH PARENTING

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  Realistic Expectations Promote Self-sacrifice With Boundaries  
 
 

Matthew 22:39
And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Ephesian 5:29
After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--

We should teach our children to have healthy sense of our self and our needs. They should understand that loving your neighbour as yourself means that you do not need to love yourself. You do need to take care of your body.

Children who have had the core emotional need for realistic expectations met have a sense of self-sacrifice, though with boundaries. They do not feel guilty for thinking, "I will meeet the needs of others without ignoring my own need at same time. It is normal to expect that my needs should also be met, although there will be many times when it is good to serve others without expecting anything in return".

Most children possess an inherent sense of fairness; they know when they are being made to do more than their share of the work around the house. Of course, there are kids who love to serve: in this case, it is important that parents do not take advantage of a serving child and nurture the maladaptive side of this lifetrap, instead of the healthy adaptive side.

While selflessness and a sense of service are commendable qualities, they should be nurtured appropriately in children. Hence, parents must help such children set boundaries for service and recognize when they are being exploited. Essentially, a child should be trained to genuinely serve, while knowing how to say "No" when it is inappropriate.

Today's Practical

Is there one kid in your family being made to serve overly (exploited) perhaps by other kids? Address it.

In the name of encouraging and appreciating the serving child we can make the child to develop self sacrificial life trap.

All the family members can join and make the most serving child in the family very special today.