GOOD ENOUGH PARENTING

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  Setting Reasonable Limits Promotes Respect And Respect For Others  
 
 

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

Psalm 139:13-14
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.


SELF ESTEEM / RESPECT : When this need of reasonable limit is met, they will be secure enough to seek out relationships in which there is mutuality rather than being enslaved to pleasing others or even subjected to bullying. When we parents are helping children to follow limits, we must ensure that the children are not just giving into approval seeking but genuinely understand that the limits are important.

The message in their mind is as follows :- "I am confident in my own decisions and do not need to seek the approval of others. If other people do not approve of me, as long as I have acted in good faith, I know I have nothing to worry about".

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

When there is love and affection for others, we will find it easy to respect and honor others.

Romans 13:7
Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

The respect and honor that we owe and due for others should be given to others.

RESPECT FOR OTHERS : Children who have had this core emotional need of reasonable limits met do not see themselves as better or worse than others but as equals. They know how to treat others fairly.

They also feel, "I am a person of worth and value but I am not better than others. The same rule that applies to others also apply to me. Sometimes it is is healthy to put others above myself and it is certainly healthy to feel for others and try to put myself in their shoes. I do not need to control everything and everyone".

Children who have this need met are kind, they feel for others and they respect others boundaries. They do not often purposely say things to hurt others and if they do they feel bad and apologise. They are not pushy and controlling and naturally want to pitch in and do their share of work in projects. They know how to pursue their own happiness and desires without walking all over others.

Today's Practical

Ask your kids to close their eyes and answer this question. Say what you feel deep inside not what you think? Do you feel you were born to succeed? (give number between 1 to 10)

This will reveal their level of self esteem. If it is low, you need to build them up with positive affirmations. They cannot take challenges. They need lots of encouragement.